By Deacon Roger Carr-Jones, Marriage and Family Life Coordinator
Abbot Columba Marmion, the apostle of divine adoption, has been in my mind this month as I prepare for the baptism of twins. This occasion has brought back memories of baptising adopted twins some years ago; an experience that has stayed with me and reshaped my understanding of parenthood and of being a father. That moment made Marmion’s teaching on divine adoption vividly real. His central truth is that because the Son of Man became human, we who are human can become children of God. He returns again and again to adoption as the foundation of our dignity. As God loves us, so parents are called to love their children.
My own father died when I was a baby, so I grew up without a clear model of fatherhood and absorbed ideas that were often unhelpful. Through my wife, I discovered that parenthood is not about perfection but about embracing the imperfect with love. Being a father is something to be discovered, experienced, and continually surprised by. It does not come pre‑packaged; like faith, it unfolds over a lifetime. As we learn to mirror God’s fatherhood, we find that our love extends not only to natural children but also to those given to us in different ways. The first task of a father then is not to shape the child but to receive them as God receives us.
I have one godchild whose journey of faith I share with their parents. And as I think of these two sets of twin, those I baptised years ago and those I will soon baptise, I hear clearly the Father’s words at the baptism of Jesus: “You are my beloved; I delight in you.” Every child deserves to hear this. Every father is called to speak this, not only with words, but with the witness of his life.
Father’s Day invites us to reflect on this calling. To notice how our love, however imperfect, becomes a reflection of God’s love. To remember that fatherhood, whether biological, adoptive, or spiritual is a vocation before it is a role. It is theological before it is practical. It is a living icon of divine adoption. This identity strengthens our parental identity.
The parent makes visible the fatherhood of God as we learn to say, “You are loved simply because you are.” When we see our children first as God’s beloved, rather than primarily “mine,” our relationships deepen. Our homes become places where grace is learned, where forgiveness is practised, where love is received before it is earned. Parenthood becomes sacramental: a daily participation in the Father’s love for His Son.
This Father’s Day, why not find a moment to reflect on this simple truth: ‘being a father is pure gift’. Embrace the gift of fatherhood, be astonished by its sheer beauty and give thanks.
