Homily given by Bishop James Curry for the Mass for the Celebration of Matrimony on Saturday 17 May 2025 at Westminster Cathedral
'Everyone serves the good wine first and when people have drunk freely, then the poor wine. But you have kept the good wine until now.'
(John 2:10)
Dear Friends, dear sisters and brothers,
Many memories will be recalled today. From 10 years, 25, 50, 60 and beyond. Whether you were married in a Cathedral, a Basilica, a Parish Church or a beloved chapel. You have been written into each other’s lives. Thank you for saying yes to each other, and yes to God in Matrimony. Because of your yes, your stability, we all enjoy a greater security, a security and stability which is fundamental to human flourishing and, as those of you who are blessed with children know, is essential to their wellbeing. Your stability is the fertile ground that is needed to nourish Hope, as we celebrate this jubilee year of Hope. Thank you!
When two people find delight in each other, they find a person to cherish, a person who they hope will care for them in and through the testing times that come to us all. Some no doubt will say you and me are being too naive or overly romantic. Can one person fulfil all our needs? Perhaps not. But one person can be a source of encouragement, for us. A true and faithful companion. A person who can say I forgive you, I love you, you are safe. A person who will hold us when we need to be held and comforted.
In some sense we are all pilgrims in search of Love. This searching is echoed in our relationship with God. The late Pope Francis encapsulated the essence of marriage when he said that;
'When a man and a woman celebrate the sacrament of marriage, God is, as it were, 'mirrored' in them; he impresses in them his own features and the indelible character of his love. Marriage is the icon of God’s love for us'
Marriage belongs to humanity. It is part of the human experience and it is a divine reflection, embodying God's love and unity.
Those of you who are celebrating milestone anniversaries give eloquent testimony to the power of commitment, the strength of love, forgiveness, patience and the Grace of God. You have faced joys and challenges, triumphs and trials, and through it all your love has grown, matured and is more resilient.
Marriage is always a risk, a calculated one it but love always takes risks. Those who are open to love are also open to hurt. It is also true that with our compassion we enter into the hurt, into the wounds of the other bringing the possibility of healing
I often ask those preparing for marriage: what is it you cherish in each other? What makes you smile now? Will it be the same thing that you cherish in each other in the years ahead? It seems to me that we can’t always have what we want, but we can love what we have. As people change and develop what we love in them can grow too.
There is a sense in which now is all we ever have. Of course, it is prudent to plan for the future, but we need to live in the now, in the moment, what one Christian spiritual writer has called the ‘Sacrament of the Present Moment.’
I am not a married man. You are the experts. I had the blessing to grow up in a home where marriage was valued and in my 39 years as a priest I have helped to prepare many couples for marriage, I have worked alongside married persons and I have benefited from your insight, wisdom and walked alongside those who have had their troubles. In light of that may I share an insight?
Always look for what is lovable in each other, finding something to cherish in each other, each day, each hour, each moment, no matter how small. In other words, always be searching for each other. When you give yourself in Matrimony to another, you give away your absolute autonomy, in order to be free to love. You need to keep searching for the one you love. That is true of any friendship or vocation even the priesthood. Too often we find ourselves distracted, forgetful of the needs of the one who we would care for.
The popular musician Bruce Springsteen, puts it well when he writes:
'We said we’d walk together, come what may. That come the twilight should we lose our way. If as we are walking a hand should slip free, I’ll wait for you, should I fall behind wait for me... Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees. I’ll wait for you, and should I fall behind wait for me...'
Dear friends, you have found each other, made a home for each other, a place to lay one’s head and you have established families. Cherish each other; don’t just wait for one another other. And never cease from searching for each other.
