By Deacon Roger Carr-Jones, Marriage and Family Life Coordinator
Introduction given as the Chair of Marriage Care to the attendees of the 2025 National Conference, where we enjoyed an inspiring day led by David Wells: catechist, teacher, speaker, storyteller and author
It is said that music has the capacity to express our emotions more easily than words, as it bypasses language and communicates directly through sound, rhythm, tone and on occasion, the lyrics. Ask someone about the soundtrack of their life and shared lives, and people readily share the music that speaks to them, personally and as a couple. As we approach our 80th anniversary, the songbook of Marriage Care is one that was first composed in a world reshaped by war. In the gloom it is most often music that provides an alternative sound. Music is the means of expressing how we always seek for good melodies amongst the discordant chords.
In 1945 the societal and relational radio waves of married life were distorted, where couples were not tuned in to each other. The music of communication and emotional connection were broken. To combat this those who would go on to found Marriage Care in 1946 began to notice how trained sound engineers, our first relationship counsellors, could provide the re-tuning skills for an alternative broadcast. Those melodies and musical forms have changed and expanded over the decades, but the quality of the song-writing remains.
I clearly grew up in a different musical time zone to my wife, as my musical tastes are drawn most often from a time long before I was born! As such, I particularly like musicals, as they combine story-telling with melodies, songs and dance. They also have the ability, like relationship counselling and marriage formation, to make complex topics more accessible.
My choice for this gathering, as we are on the cusp of moving into our 80th anniversary celebrations, would be the 1945 song, ‘You’ll never walk Alone’ from the musical Carousel. This tune, which has both secular and religious overtones, expresses for me the vision of those who created Marriage Care. It also remains the mantra that shapes and forms our continued service of accompaniment. Though a song much associated with a certain football club, much loved by our Cardinal, it is one that is essentially a message of hope and solidarity. As such, I could not think of a better song to capture the insights and humanity of our founders, who offered security and strength to those who were alone, suffering and struggling. There is an immediate connection to those of you who are relationship counsellors, as it speaks of growth for the couple, the ability to overcome the reality of hardships and to grow ever stronger roots.
Though applicable for those of us who are marriage formators, I would choose another hit song from Carousel, ‘If I loved You’. This song appears early in the musical and reflects the hesitant way true emotions can be more easily shared through song than the spoken word. We guide the couple from their single soundtracks to a combined one, where new tracks and revisions are added every year.
Over nearly 80 years Marriage Care, the musical, has had a variety of composers, lyricists and librettists, a reminder that, like a good musical, ongoing adaptations provide new and different insights into the original composition. Rodgers and Hammerstein did not simply provide one hit musical but many, not one hit song per show but many, and we, in our own way, do exactly the same.
Today, we give thanks for the past, celebrate the achievements of the present, and look forward with confidence to the songs yet to be composed. On behalf of my fellow trustees, each of whom adds an essential single note to our shared harmonious composition, I would like to thank you for all that you are and all that you do to ensure that our song-book continues to be heard across this land. Each of you contributes to the words and sounds that make a difference to the lives of couples, those who are just setting out on the road of composing their own new and unique songbook, as well as those who are seeking to rediscover a shared song book.
I would like to specifically thank, on your behalf, our National Support Team, the backstage and production squad, who work behind the scenes providing technical and organisation skills.
Music has a direct emotional impact on people and the universal language and melody of married love needs to be heard. This is what we continue to do, especially when there is a need for re-tuning and revision of the tracks. There are times when vocabulary and grammar must give way to that greater melody that can be shared across cultures, making it a shared emotional code.
I began with the musical Carousel, so it seems fitting to end with the song, ‘June is busting out all over’. It is a song that captures joy, energy and optimism, qualities at the heart of Marriage Care and its orchestra, in other words, you. It is a song about coming together to celebrate and share joy. Throughout this day might I encourage you to share your musical choices that best capture all that we are and do.
