By Deacon Roger Carr-Jones, Marriage and Family Life Coordinator for the Diocese of Westminster - a reflection drawn from the Annual Mass for Matrimony 2025
If we were looking for a jigsaw, in which the pieces and the overall image changes, then we would have the ideal analogy for marriage. In the time of courtship leading to marriage, we often have the idea of their being an ideal image of how we want our relationship to grow. We begin with presenting a clear image on the box lid of married life. However, as we begin to assemble the pieces of married life we begin discover that the pattern, outlines and images are very different. When we start to look more closely at the box lid, we discover that there is no picture provided. Rather than being fazed by this discovery it becomes the moment when our married relationship begins to take on more complex and interlinked images. We discover that in working closely together we begin to assemble our own unique reflection of married love.
When we have no reference image there is the added challenge of learning to fit each part together and in being surprised by the images that emerge. Marriage is a series ongoing surprises as we discover that the jigsaw of married life has new images and shapes which are added across a lifetime.
This image of a large organic jigsaw was very apparent at the Annual Mass for Matrimony, as over 430 couples from across the diocese came to renew their vows and commitment to one another. Every year this jigsaw of the vocation of matrimony is created afresh, with each piece held by the Holy Spirit and carefully slotted into place. The image is totally different from the year before as it is crafted by the shared endeavors, experiences and stories of the couples.
It is a moment when each couple discovers that God has provided the ‘box top’ of their marriage and he delights in the ways in which they discover how to create the image. Then there are the ‘missing pieces’ of life, which are filled by Jesus himself, without whom the picture would be incomplete. As each new piece is fitted together, there is that ongoing change in the couple, from, ‘me’ to ‘you’ to ‘us’.
Read Bishop James Curry's Homily from the Mass for Matrimony here.