By Deacon Roger Carr-Jones, Marriage and Family Life Coordinator
Father’s Day is the opportunity to give thanks for the gift of being a father and to reflect more deeply on the meaning of fatherhood. This year it will be bittersweet for my wife as her father died last year. However, he did so on the same day that our grandson received his First Holy Communion. That light and joy, though, now transforms the gloom and the sadness of loss, giving that day a new and life-affirming presence.
Fatherhood is relational. It is a lived state of being, a reality and one that is a lifelong responsibility. The joy of fatherhood is one that encompasses a broad spectrum of individuals who earn the job title of father, whether it be biological, adoptive, foster, step, spiritual or the often under-appreciated calling of father-in-law! Fathers, as Pope Francis consistently stated, play an essential and irreplaceable role in families. So, whether spiritual or physical, men are called to fatherhood, discovering across a lifetime that the word is a job description not an honorary title.
In 2022 Pope Francis, reflecting on fatherhood, offered a catechesis on the adoptive father of Jesus, St Joseph, which contained this poignant phrase, ‘Fathers are not born but made. A man does not become a father simply by bringing a child into the world, but by taking up the responsibility to care for that child. Whenever a man accepts responsibility for the life of another, in some way he becomes a father to that person’. (Apostolic Letter Patris Corde)
Fatherhood, therefore, involves the father giving his life to someone else. This is similarly reflected in the priest, who is called to experience pastoral paternity or spiritual fatherhood, which is equally life-giving. Being a father is a job description not a title that confers rights. Modern society seems intent on weakening the bonds of the family and its members, not least fathers. It will not succeed.
Fatherhood draws us away from individualism, isolation and selfishness, to encounter a spiritual and physical reality. Although we might like to see ourselves as a super hero dad, our children tend to prefer something more profound and real: that they are loved.