By Deacon Roger Carr-Jones, Marriage and Family Life Coordinator
Just like cake-making, scripture comes in a variety of forms. This image of cakes serves as a useful analogy for conveying the complex, varied and often fulsome flavours of scripture, as no passage ever tastes alike. We can also apply this metaphor to marriage, as cakes help us appreciate the flavours, layers and richness in marriage. Marriage, like a favourite cake, is chewed upon over a lifetime, with different flavours, qualities and textures emerging.
The beginning of marriage could be compared to creating a rich fruit cake for the wedding breakfast, where lots of competing flavours, diverse experiences and unexpected fruits come together. The fruit cake speaks of longevity within the relationship and storing away slices of memories to re-taste and rediscover in later life. This is a dense cake, complexly flavoured and occasionally nutty. When nurtured and fed well its flavours and texture lasts. It tastes better after aging.
Then there is the Victoria Sponge period, when new additions come into the relationship: children, home and work. This, like the Victoria sponge, is a classic stage. It isn’t something flashy but crafted by the simple ingredients of love, trust and shared laughter which enable the couple to achieve a well-balanced flavour. Though there are other cakes that go by the name sponge, the Victoria sponge it is simplest and most elegant.
As the marriage grows in its maturity it becomes akin to a Madeira cake, which is simple on the surface but rich with meaning. Here it is about getting the right balance of ingredients, which in a marriage are love, trust, communication and respect. Just like the Madeira cake, the married relationship is dependable, subtly sweet and designed to last. To make this cake it needs a slow steady heat, and patience. Similarly, marriage requires patience and time: you cannot force growth. Instead, it emerges slowly in the warmth of mutual love. Marriage, like the Madeira cake, is not about glamour, it is about simplicity and stability, with a little zest to bring out the hidden flavours.
Without using the right mixture a cake will never rise. Without the necessary graces of time, warmth and consistency the same applies to marriage. Either too much heat (arguments) and too little attention (neglecting the relationship) means that it can burn and fall flat. Again, if we try to skip the steps, use old ingredients, or get the temperature wrong the cake will fail.
That said, there are always crumbs when devouring a cake, so we should not expect married love to be crumb free. Not every day is perfect, but with care the cracks and burns can be repaired, and a new unexpected slice of life is tasted.
Though we may all love a little icing to decorate the cake of married life, we need to be certain that the base layer is always sound. When we get this right, we can truly enjoy the decorative sparkles which are joy and laughter, love and romance.
In Genesis Abraham tells Sarah to “make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead it, and make cakes upon the hearth” (Gen 18.6) to serve divine visitors. Here cakes speak of hospitality and generosity, of offering and worship, and above all provision from God. Just like the harmonious effort of Abraham and Sarah, the mix of married love includes shared responsibilities, hospitality, and blessings within a partnership.
Marriage, like cake, give us plenty to chew upon, discovering new tastes and textures every day.
Do you have a favourite cake? Which cake best describes your marital journey?
